This week has marked three years since I decided to put in the notice I was leaving the job I hated. I was desperate to get away from a company I felt was morally corrupt. In the days leading up to my decision, my eye started twitching and would not stop. I was even getting physically nauseous to start every day. The torture of relying on job like that, from a company I despised, just to keep my bills paid is something I never want to experience again.
When I walked away I was terrified. The only thing I had to fall back on was doing gig work. I knew I would feel better about myself and the twitching eye would go away but I had no clue if my bills would continue to get paid. I was taking a leap of faith with a safe landing spot nowhere in sight. I believed I could make enough working for DoorDash and GrubHub to get by despite having no hard evidence this was true.
The longest I intended to be out of the corporate world was a year. I figured I'd reassess my situation at the start of 2019, and most likely start applying for other college advising jobs. That never happened. I honestly enjoy doing gig work. I love chasing my pay. It keeps me engaged. I haven't taken more than 5 days off in a row in 3 years and haven't even come close to feeling burnt out. Although I enjoy this work, obviously there is no future in it. It is time to start thinking about having a future again.
I have decided I'm going to begin job hunting...no, strike that...career hunting this January. There is one caveat to this plan: I have to be able to fit into my old work clothes first. I refuse to buy a new work wardrobe for a body I don't intend to keep. I'm going to spend the next 5 months soul-searching and getting my physical health in order.
I'm going to use these next months to decide what I want to do that I don't feel is morally reprehensible. I'm not going to worry about the starting salary because I already know I'm capable of working 12-hour days and my side hustle is always there for extra income. Because I enjoy what I'm doing, I feel like the power is all on my end. If an interview doesn't go well or I don't like an offer, I just keep doing what I'm doing. This time around I have all the control.
As for my health, I have let my weight get out of control again, especially during the past year of quarantine. Beginning in August, I'm going to start a hiking/running streak. My goal will be to hike or run every day for the full month. I'm also going to be doing an alcohol-free August. This will all be leading up to a trip back home for Labor Day weekend (I'm going to do my best to not look like complete shit when I go back). I'm going to be flying for the first part of the trip. I'll spend Labor Day weekend with my family at the lake. Then I'm driving back from North Dakota to Arizona. I plan on using the road trip back as a huge soul-searching opportunity.
What's next? I have no fucking clue! These next five months might be the most important of my life. Only time will tell.
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